Hey Vlad, How to Spy/Influence America

Tovarich Putin,

I understand that you wanted to influence public policy in the US. I think you had the right idea. The issue is one of degree. First, you did not send in enough of them. If you send 10 agents over to live in the US illegally, they get arrested and held without bail. If you send over 12 million, the US President offers them amnesty.

Second, your agents integrated into society. It would have been far better if they lived in their own ghettoes, didn’t learn English, and demanded equal rights.

I hope this is helpful, Vlad. If you correct those two little items, I’m sure an unlikely alliance of ‘business interests’ and the Democratic Party will fall over themselves to assure your agents assume their rightful position in America. If you find this helpful, if any more look like “Anna Chapman”, you can send her to me.

-Jay

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One Response

  1. A large constituency is of supreme value to anyone who has an inordinate lust for power & enters politics in order to satisfy that lust.

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